Bollocks to alton towers

An endless train of cars snakes over the horizon towards an expensive afternoon spent amidst the deafening screams of people being splashed, thrown around and hassled by anonymous wannabes trapped in big furry costumes. Why? Is this really the best we can find to occupy our precious spare time? Is this honestly someone's idea of fun? Wouldn't it be better to go somewhere that everyone else hasn't - somewhere with somthing more interesting to say than 'have a nice day' or 'keep your hands inside the car while the ride is in motion'? This is your chance. Turn away from the theme park queue and take a wayward tour of the backwaters and byways of the British tourist trail, celebrating the small, fascinating and unique.